I didn’t make the time to write yesterday. And it’s okay. It’s just fine. Imagine that.
I promised myself at the start of this year’s Advent journey that I would extend the same grace to myself that I extend to others. It turns out that’s a difficult promise to keep, thought not as difficult as it would have been not so many months ago.
Last night, though there was still a voice in my head protesting my grace-full decision, I decided to rest.
It’s the last week of the semester here at the seminary. Students, faculty and staff alike are feeling the press of all. the. things. And yet, last night a small crew gathered in the chapel for Holden Evening Prayer and remained for a joyful Christmas hymn sing. We sang just about every song from the ELW Christmas section, accompanied by piano, guitar, and even the conga drum. We laughed (who knew one composer’s last name is actually Bible? How about that for a last name?!?); we harmonized; we sang the songs that we wouldn’t have had the opportunity to sing together otherwise, with everyone dispersing for Christmas break; we found rest in the singing and in the gift of life in community.
Today, I invite you to rest in the words below. In addition to the scripture readings, I’ve included some lyrics from our accompanying songs. As you read, what word or phrase calls to you? Where do you want to linger? Is there an invitation for you there?
Romans 8:15-16
For you did not receive a spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received a spirit of adoption. When we cry, ‘Abba! Father!’ it is that very Spirit bearing witness with our spirit that we are children of God…
3 John 1:13-15
I have much to write to you, but I would rather not write with pen and ink; instead I hope to see you soon, and we will talk together face to face. Peace to you. The friends send you their greetings. Greet the friends there, each by name.
I Never Knew
I never knew love could ask what I was searching for
I never knew love would walk beside me through the door
Never knew it would open up the atlas for me
Hold the map to find my story
'Cause I never knew
I thought love was hoping that you had enough
To give to someone else
No one ever told me I should lift my hand
And ask for love myself
But it wasn't a surprise to know I told myself a pack of lies
Come a Long Way
It's got your name on it
My shame
It's got your name on it
My home
It's got your name on it
Everything I own
If it's got my name, it's got your name on it
Everything I own has got your name on it
When I was trying to cross the river
You were at the river getting me across and now
Everything, everything I own
Has got your name on it
Oh everything
I've got your name on it
On the Trout Run Trail in Decorah, November 29, 2020
I never would have put these two days together in one post had I persisted (against my better judgment) in writing yesterday. And yet, they belong together.
I don’t know where the Spirit will lead you as you rest in these words. For me, I’m lingering in the waters of baptism. I’m looking back on every river I’ve ever crossed with Jesus at my side, every tumultuous passage from one shore to another, every current that threatened to sweep me away, every sigh of relief when I finally collapsed on solid ground.
I’m reflecting on how powerful it is to be known by name, how incredible it is to hear your name spoken aloud, both by those who love you most and by those who are newly meeting you and committing your name to memory. I’m tracing the sign of the cross on my forehead, aware of those irrepressible baptismal waters that linger there, and speaking my full name aloud: Stacey JoAnna Nalean-Carlson, Beloved Child of God. (Maybe you’d like to do that too.)
I’m taken with these lines from I Never Knew: “Never knew [love] would open up the atlas for me / Hold the map to find my story.” I’m wondering where this story will lead. I want to be curious, not afraid.
I’m still singing last night’s song (the one with lyrics by Ken Bible himself). Love is the name that saves us; love is our name too.
Love is born! Come, share in the wonder.
Love is God now asleep in the hay.
See the glow in the eyes of his mother;
what is the name her heart is saying?
Love! Love! Love is the name she whispers;
Love! Love! Jesus, Immanuel.